


I'll Never Smile Again

by Lildumdum



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), But Zuko is there, But it's okay because they will finally realize it, Canon Universe, Confused bois, Eventual relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, M/M, Mai is probably one of the best characters and you can fight me on that, Mai is supportive, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Canon meaning it's after the episodes but does not comply with comics, Probably some mild homophobia/internalized homophobia, So far no smut but there is a possibility there will be mild smut in future chapters, Sokka is sad, They don't know they're in love because they're dumb, Zuko is also kinda sad but moslty confused and overwhelmed, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko is totally gay but represses it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26012698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lildumdum/pseuds/Lildumdum
Summary: They don’t want me, he thought. Black spots swam at the edge of his vision until the black was all that was left.OrSokka's life doesn't go as planned (and we know how much he likes his plans) and he freaks out, but good thing he knows a certain Fire Lord that will help him realize things might still be okay.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time putting my fanfiction out there, and I'm actually kinda excited about it but also super nervous. I rewatched ATLA like everyone else and just had to join in with all the Zukka content. It's just too pure. Anyways, I hope you like what I came up with. I'm sure it's not perfect, but perfection is overrated. Feel free to leave feedback, but please be a little gentle at least. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Oh and the title is based off the song "I'll Never Smile Again" performed by Tommy Dorsey. I just think it's a really sweet song and it kinda reminds me of Zukka.

It was another day in the Southern Water Tribe. Sokka attended the usual boring meetings, a shadow of his father. He would never admit it, but he envied the rest of the Gaang. They were off having adventures, restoring order, and living free from expectations. Sokka was just trying to make it through the day proving he could live up to his father’s legacy. 

Upon arriving home that evening, tired and overworked, a letter sat waiting for him on his bed. A smile spread across his face. He was almost certain he knew who it was from. 

_Sokka,_

_I know you’re busy with your pre-chief duties, but in a matter of weeks it will be Uncle's birthday. I am throwing a surprise party for him (yes, that was Aang’s idea) in Ba Sing Se. Obviously, you are invited. I know Uncle would love to see you there. I would love to see you there. If I can take time off from my Fire Lord responsibilities then I expect you can do the same._

_Your Friend,_

_Zuko_

Sokka and Zuko had corresponded a lot during the past three years following the war. They had grown closer during their Boiling Rock Breakout (that’s what Sokka liked to call it), and once the war ended vowed to keep in contact. Sokka was grateful they had.

He looked forward to the letters he received, his heart fluttering each time he got one, even if they weren’t always consistent. Both boys were occupied with fulfilling the expectations of their people, which sometimes meant going weeks without news, but Sokka knew he would always get another letter eventually. The letters were part of what kept him going. Something that grounded him when the stress became too much. Whether Zuko and Sokka recognized it or not, they needed each other.

Rereading the letter, Sokka couldn’t keep a smile off his face as he imagined reconnecting with his best friends. His pulse quickened as Zuko's honest words, “I would love to see you there”, danced across the parchment. He knew it simply meant that Zuko would be excited to see him after nearly 9 months since their last reunion. Despite this fact though, Sokka would keep Zuko’s words close to his heart as he wished it meant something more. 

===

“Sokka, I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen your friends, but there is so much work that you need to be doing here,” Hakoda said, placing a firm hand on his son’s shoulder.

“But Katara gets to go!” Sokka protested. Katara had returned to the South two months ago to visit before she would ultimately leave again to travel with Aang. 

“Katara isn’t in the running to be the next chief of the tribe,” Hakoda replied bluntly.

“Dad, come on,” Sokka huffed, “I need a break. I need to see my friends.” _I need to see Zuko._ The thought slipped into his head before he could stop it. The uncomplicated excuse he came up with for this irrepressible thought was that all best friends need to see each other after being apart for so long. 

“As much as I would like you to go, I need you here. The tribe needs you here. You made a commitment to your people and if you want to show you're serious about being chief, you need to stay.” Hakoda patted Sokka’s back, gave him an apologetic look, and walked out of the igloo. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll stay,” Sokka called grumpily after his father. He knew he was right, but he still longed for a chance to be with Zuko.

_===_

_Jerkbender,_

_I’m sorry to say I will not be attending Iroh’s Belated Birthday Bash (that’s quite a catchy name don’t you think?). Dad seems to believe I am needed in the South. I wish I could see you guys. It’s been too long. Hopefully your hair hasn’t changed for the worse. Those ponytail days really did you dirty._

_I hope everything is well with you and that you aren't too overwhelmed by your Fire Lord duties. You have a tendency to worry too much and one day I'm afraid it will kill you which would be extremely anticlimactic considering you're the dramatic type. If you're going to die at least die in style and not because you're a crazy ball of stress._

_Your Friend,_

_That Boomerang Guy That Just Wants to See His Friends_

* * *

_That Boomerang Guy That Will One Day Be Personally Executed by the Fire Lord For Making Fun of Him,_

_You know my ponytail had a culturally significant meaning and technically it's insensitive for you to make fun of it. I could have you killed for that you know. I am the Fire Lord after all. I assure you that my hair has not changed for the worse, if anything it’s for the better. At least Aang seems to like it, and considering he's the Avatar and all I think he knows what he's talking about._

_I'm sorry you can't make it to Uncle's party. I've missed you, as I'm certain the others have also. You'll have to make up for your absence by visiting me though. That is not an invitation, that’s a command._

_Things are currently okay here in the Fire Nation. Certain advisors are a pain as usual, but nothing I can't manage. Yes, I'm stressed, but that's kind of part of the job. I'm sure stress has become one of your good friends recently too. How is your chieftain training going anyways? I hope all is well._

_Now, I may be slightly dramatic at times, but let's not forget that you're the one who has licked strange goo off a cave wall, drank some random ass cactus juice, been paranoid that birds are spies, and insists on constantly complaining that Katara and Aang are "oogie" even though you literally had sex with Suki in a tent at the Western Air Temple while everyone else was around._

_Your Friend,_

_Zuko_

* * *

_Fire Lord Meanie,_

_First of all, rude. Second of all, why would you trust Aang's opinion on your hair when he has none?_

_Your Ex-Best Friend,_

_Sokka_

_P.S. If I recall, that cactus juice was pretty damn tasty. In fact, it was and still is the quenchiest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. And I’ve put a lot of things in my mouth if you know what I mean._

===

Two weeks had gone by, and Sokka was still bitter he wasn’t going to Ba Sing Se. Katara spent the previous evening at dinner exuberantly talking about how she couldn’t wait to see Aang in a few days. He had been spending some time at the Fire Nation and would be swinging around south to pick her up before they made their way to the Earth Kingdom for Iroh’s birthday. Sokka knew Katara wasn't intentionally rubbing in the fact that she got to go, but it still stung thinking about how he had to miss out. 

The fact that today was the day the councilmen were meeting to determine the leading candidates to be chief, and that he was standing outside their igloo waiting for their decision, did little to improve his sour mood. Hakoda still had plenty of years as chief ahead of him, but the tribe liked to determine promising successors early on that would eventually be voted on by the whole village. 

Sokka had spent the past week proving his competency as a leader and undergoing a series of ceremonies that would help the council make their decision. 

His father, Katara, and Gran Gran assured him that he would be among the few that would be picked, but he still harbored an unshakable doubt in his abilities. 

Following the end of the war, Sokka had spent most of his time home training and attending meetings in preparation for this day. He hoped the councilmen would deem him worthy. Being chief after all was what he had been working towards his whole life, and today was the day to prove his worth. He couldn't disappoint his father.

“Sokka,” a voice called, pulling him out of his thoughts. “The council will see you now.”

Sokka gulped and pulled in a shaky breath preparing himself for the news. Anxiety bubbled inside him as he walked into the center of the large igloo. The councilmen were seated on cushions in a line with Hakoda in the center. 

“Sokka,” Hakoda began, “the council admits you have shown much potential. You possess many remarkable abilities. Your knack for formulating plans has its uses, and your kind heart shows your willingness to serve your people. We do believe you could be an admirable chief.”

A wave of relief flooded over Sokka. Air rushed into his lungs no longer strained by a breath he had not known he was holding. He had not let his father down. There was a likely chance he could be chief.

“But,” Hakoda continued, bringing Sokka crashing back to earth, “the council has made the decision that you will not be moving forward in your chieftain training.”

“What?” Sokka questioned. His heartbeat quickened and his breathing became ragged.

“It isn’t that we don’t consider you qualified,” one of the councilmen stated, “It’s that we believe this responsibility isn’t best suited for you.”

Sokka's vision blurred and there was a faint ringing in his ears. Before he could hear more, he turned hastily and ran out of the igloo. He had to get away. Someone called after him, but he continued forward as if he didn’t hear them. 

He ran until he could no more, going anywhere and nowhere. Legs finally giving out, he stumbled and fell onto his hands and knees on the icy ground. Tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t believe it. His own father was Chief and yet the council didn't even consider him as a viable candidate.

His whole body shook. Nausea flooded over him. _They don’t want me,_ he thought. Black spots swam at the edge of his vision until the black was all that was left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Iroh's Belated Birthday Bash!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that I was going to have this chapter up sooner, but I was struggling with this chapter. Certain things just felt off and I was being nit-picky. I finally just had to say "screw it". So here it is. Sorry it's kinda late, but I hope you enjoy it a little.

Zuko and Mai worked silently as they prepared the tea shop for Uncle’s birthday celebration that night. They had sent Uncle off for some pampering at the baths so they could ensure the surprise would be perfect for when he returned. 

Zuko couldn’t wait for the party. Excitement bubbled inside him at the thought of spending time with the people that had become like his family. He missed them all so much and was glad he could take a break from being Firelord to be with the people he cared about most. Despite this eagerness, disappointment weeded its way into the cracks as he thought about Sokka’s absence. 

Zuko missed Sokka a lot more than he expected. He missed the way Sokka’s eyes would light up at a platter stuffed with delicious food. He missed being able to admire that charming smile that would spread across Sokka’s face when he cracked a joke. And he missed how Sokka made his heart overflow with warmth. It would be odd not having him at the party. 

There was a tap on the tea shop door frame, causing Zuko to be startled out of his thoughts. 

“Knock knock,” called the familiar voice of Katara. Zuko whirled around to face her, but before he could get a good look, Aang sprang upon him. 

“Zuko!” Aang cried as he wrapped his arms around him, “I know we only saw each other a little bit ago, but to me it’s already been too long.” Zuko laughed squeezing Aang tight, glad there was someone out there that was so enthusiastic about seeing him. 

Zuko was pulled away abruptly, and he found himself in the arms of Katara.

“I’m so glad to see you,” Katara expressed. "You look well.”

She pulled out of the hug to look at him, her hands rested on his shoulders as affection seeped out of her.

“I’ve missed you Katara,” Zuko breathed, smiling slightly. “How’s the Sou-” Zuko broke off as he glanced behind her thinking at first that he saw a mirage, but no, what he glimpsed was real.

“Sokka?” Zuko called unbelievingly. He pushed by Katara rushing forward. “Sokka!”

Wrapped up in the reunion with Aang and Katara, Zuko hadn’t noticed Sokka leaning coolly against the door frame. 

“Hey buddy,” Sokka said, stepping forward to embrace Zuko. “Looks like Iroh’s not the only one getting a surprise today.” 

The hug was tender, their hearts raced in time with each other. Zuko didn’t realize how much of a breath of fresh air it was to see Sokka. Being in his arms had a similar feeling of safety and comfort that the turtle duck pond had and Zuko wanted to stay there forever. 

After a long moment of inhaling the musky scent laced into Sokka's clothes, Zuko pulled away to find that the familiar twinkle in Sokka’s eyes seemed slightly more dim than usual. He looked more weary like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Zuko assumed it must be because of Sokka’s responsibilities in the South. In order to keep the reunion light, he opted to make no mention of it.

“What are you doing here?” Zuko questioned. “I thought you had to ‘fulfill your duty to the tribe’ or whatever.”

Sokka hesitated, rubbed the back of his neck, then cleared his throat.

“Well,” Sokka began, “I was able to slip away. Dad’s taking care of things.” Zuko thought he could sense a tinge of strain in Sokka’s voice, but it vanished before Zuko could comment on it. 

A mischievous spark suddenly ignited in Sokka’s eyes, replacing the tension that previously existed. “And I had to see your hair for myself. You know, to make sure you haven't made a terrible decision. We can’t have the Fire Lord being made fun of because of a bad haircut now can we?” Sokka tugged playfully at a strand of Zuko’s hair. 

Brushing just past his shoulders, Zuko’s silky hair was more manageable with the top half secured in a neat little bun and the rest hanging free. 

“I’m glad you’re here, even if it is just to see my hair.” Zuko grinned. “I’ve missed you.” 

Sokka had grown an inch or so since the last time Zuko saw him, and had he even gotten more… filled out? Zuko couldn’t help but notice that Sokka’s lean muscles seemed to be more developed. The familiar wolf tail and water tribe blue still suited him nicely. He looked good, like really good. Almost so good that Zuko hadn’t realized he was staring and had completely missed the words that were coming out of Sokka’s mouth. 

“Sorry… what?” Zuko stammered. Embarrassed, he felt a blush creep up his neck and speckle his cheeks.

“I was just saying that the half-up half-down thing you’ve got going on suits you.” Sokka quirked a smile and winked.

Zuko’s blush deepened, but before he could respond to the compliment, Mai slid up beside him.

“Sokka!” She exclaimed. “It’s good to see you here. Zuko has been brooding over you not making it to Iroh's birthday since he received your letter weeks ago. He barely spoke to anyone for three days straight and we found him frequenting the turtle duck pond more often then usual.” 

“Oh come on,” Zuko protested, “I wasn’t that broody.”

Mai chuckled. "Zuko, you practically went into mourning. It's like you received a letter announcing Sokka's death rather than one explaining that he's too busy to come to a party. If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were in love with him."

The blush on Zuko's cheeks deepened and he refused to meet Sokka's eyes. How could Mai say something so absurd? Zuko and Sokka were simply really close friends. Nothing unusual. But if that was the case, why did Mai's teasing make him so uncomfortable? Zuko opened his mouth in an attempt to say something but was saved by Mai tugging at his arm. 

"Now come on you two, there’s still work to be done before Iroh gets back.” 

\---

Sokka tried to enjoy the festivities of Uncle Iroh’s birthday and getting to be with his friends again, but he couldn’t. Whenever he thought he was finally letting go and getting back to normal, his mind reminded him of the council’s decision. 

He looked around at the people he had grown so close to. Toph was laughing wildly as she earthbended Katara’s seat out from under her. Aang and Ty Lee were showing each other new tricks. Iroh chatted with Suki while he sipped tea. Zuko, his arm draped around Mai, looked more content than Sokka had ever seen him.

Sokka’s heart ached as he secretly longed for Zuko’s arm to around him instead of Mai. Sokka liked Mai well enough, even though he knew she could kill him before he even had a chance to fight back. Mai seemed to really care about Zuko and he was glad for that, but Mai got to see Zuko all the time. Sokka hadn’t seen him in over half a year, so the least Zuko could do is spend some time with him. 

Sokka waded in his pool of misery. Everyone was so happy yet here he was trying to drown his sorrows with sake. Yes, he was kind of throwing himself a pity party, but he felt like he deserved it. The council’s words were fresh on his mind, serving a constant reminder that he was never good enough, and everyone (especially Zuko) seemed to be too absorbed in the pleasantries of the evening to notice. 

He sighed, looking around once more at everyone’s cheery faces. Now seemed as opportune time as any to take his leave. He slipped out the back and slid down the wall of the tea shop until he was seated in the dirt. 

Too many thoughts swirled around his head. He couldn’t shake off the weight of being a failure. _If my own tribe doesn’t want me_ , he thought, _then no one does._

He put his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees, and tears streamed down his face. 

\---

Zuko looked around the room, basking in the warm energy of the night. This was one of those few times he felt at peace. There seemed to be no worry in the world as he sat with Mai. 

He scanned the room watching his friends converse joyously, but he soon noticed that a certain wolf tail was missing. 

Fear began to rise in Zuko. Where could Sokka have gone to? It wasn’t like him to just leave out of the blue. 

“It’s kind of stuffy in here. I’m going to get some air,” Zuko whispered to Mai before standing up. 

“Is everything okay? Do you want me to come with you?” She asked with concern filling her midnight eyes.

“Yeah I’m fine. You stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Zuko walked out the front door hoping Sokka hadn’t gone far. He looked right and left down the street trying to see a flash of blue, but the night was quiet. The street, illuminated by lanterns, was nearly empty of people save a few stragglers on their way home from a long day of work. 

Maybe Sokka had come out for a breather, but was just around the back. Zuko hoped so. He began walking around the side of the tea shop when he heard someone crying. It wasn’t loud, but it could just barely be heard over the chirping of crickets. 

“Sokka?” Zuko asked the night air, squinting to see in the dark. As he came around the back of the shop he saw a wolf tale illuminated by the soft glow of the moon.

“Sokka?” Zuko repeated. “Are you alright?”

“Leave me alone,” Sokka hissed without lifting his head. 

“Come on buddy, what’s the matter,” Zuko nearly pleaded as he sat down beside his friend. 

“I just can’t do it anymore,” Sokka replied somewhat aggressively, lifting his head off his hands abruptly. 

Zuko’s heart ached as he watched glistening tears make tracks down Sokka’s beautiful face. Zuko couldn’t keep himself from studying the boy’s features. How the red splotches left behind from the tears accentuated his cheek bones. Or how even with a brow furrowed in suffering still couldn’t detract from his natural beauty. Or that his lips seemed so soft and warm. 

“What can’t you do anymore?” Zuko asked, wishing he could wrap Sokka in his arms and tell him that everything would be okay.

“This,” Sokka spat, “Everything.”

“Sokka, you’re making me nervous.” Zuko’s eyes were full of worry. “Is it just stress from your duties in the South?”

Sokka looked at Zuko. His eyes were wild in a way Zuko had never seen before. In them was anger, but beyond that there was fear. 

“Yeah, you could say it’s just stress from my duties.” Sokka turned his face away, looking up at the moon. He hugged his knees to his chest.

“Well is there anything specific? Maybe talking about it-”

“No, Zuko. This isn’t something that can be fixed by talking about it.” Sokka’s voice sounded harsh as it cut into the night air. Zuko paused. He had never seen Sokka like this. 

“Then what is it?” Zuko reached out a hand and rested it on Sokka’s knee, eager to do anything to help. 

Sokka looked down at Zuko’s hand and took a breath. With the crickets as their orchestra, both boys sat staring at Zuko's hand without uttering a word. 

After a few moments, Sokka wiped his eyes.

“Honestly, it’s nothing," Sokka claimed, changing his demeanor, " I'm just having one of those moments you know? I actually think I’m starting to feel better. I’ll see you inside in a minute okay?” Sokka had replaced his anger and despair with a mask of indifference. Zuko knew it was Sokka's attempt at getting him to go away.

“Oh, are you sure?” Zuko knew something was wrong, but Sokka's eyes pleaded for him to go. 

“Yeah, absolutely.” Sokka swallowed as if he was trying to keep everything held back.

“Okay. Guess I’ll see you inside then.” 

Sokka nodded. Zuko hesitated, but he didn’t want to press him on something that he so obviously didn’t want to discuss. He removed his hand from Sokka’s knee, scanning the brilliant blue of Sokka’s eyes. He knew Sokka was lying, but he also knew that there was nothing he could do. 

Zuko stood, walked to the back door of the shop, and looked at Sokka one last time. Sokka gave him a (not so) encouraging thumbs up and motioned for him to go. So he left Sokka sitting alone, the moon bathing him in an ethereal glow. 

Sokka never returned to the party that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited for where the story is going and I think some good chapters are coming so stay tuned. Hopefully I'll be able to post a new chapter soon. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Zuko finds Sokka crying, Sokka decides he needs a plan. 
> 
> Sokka is still an angsty boi and Zuko is concerned. But their feelings for each other are developing so yee yee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished the chapter and I actually feel pretty okay about it. It seems like no matter if I try to follow my original plan I always end up changing it but oh well. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter. I appreciate all of you.

Sokka lay awake that night, mulling over the events of the day. Zuko had walked up on him when he was at his most vulnerable, and he was embarrassed to say the least. He was ashamed that after all his efforts, he essentially amounted to nothing. He was defeated and unworthy and his friends were out there rebuilding the world and making it better, yet here he was with nothing to contribute. And Zuko had seen that. Zuko, the once banished prince that eventually restored his honor and the honor of his nation. 

Sokka realized it wasn’t really fair for him to compare himself to Zuko. Zuko had to go through so much to get where he was now, but at least he was an active participant in restoring balance and peace to the world. Sokka was inadequate, plain and simple. He focused all his efforts on the South and now he had nothing to show for it. 

He needed a plan to get things back under control. His strategies and ideas had always provided consistency and security in his life. Now that everything he'd been working towards had slipped through his fingers, it was time for a new plan.

After lighting a candle and settling in at the desk below the window, Sokka wrote down the thoughts that had been swirling around in his head for days.

_ Sokka’s Resolve: A List By Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe _

_ The Predicament: _

  * _You're unwanted and unneeded in the South_


  * Everyone else is doing good things, but you’re not. 


  * You have an image that is expected of you and when you don’t uphold it people ask questions.


  * If people notice something is wrong, they’ll be worried.


  * If they knew what happened, it would only prove that you're a failure. 



_ Solution: _

  * _Do not return South_


  * Don't dampen your friends happiness just because you're nothing.


  * Pretend like everything's okay. It’s what’s expected of you. Be so convincing that you believe it’s true. I’m talking about all the sarcasm and puns you can muster. 


  * Everyone has their own problems to worry about so don’t become a burden with yours. 


  * Do not tell anyone what happened. That would only prove them right that you are and will always be the weakest link of the team. That would confirm that all you’re competent of is a good laugh. 



He sighed reviewing what he had written. The truth of the words tightened the knots in his stomach. 

He set the list aside and pushed his feelings aside. They were all consuming, but he didn't want deal with them. He just wanted everything to end. 

He rubbed his eyes and looked into the serene darkness of the night finding the mystical glow of the moon. 

“Oh Yue,” he pleaded, “What am I supposed to do?”

He waited with bated breath for any sign of being heard, but one never came. It appeared he had even been abandoned by Yue. He really was alone. But really he shouldn't be surprised. He had failed her just like he was now failing everyone else. No wonder she didn't want to talk to him. 

He sighed, and turned his attention to writing a letter to his father. No matter the bitterness and hurt that weighed on his mind, Sokka knew it was only right to inform Hakoda of his decision. 

_ Dad,  _

_ I’m writing this letter to inform you that I have decided not to come home. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone or where I’ll be going, but I just need some time. Besides, I’m not really needed or wanted in the South these days anyways. There’s no need to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I’ll see you when I see you. Please don't write me. I’m sorry for everything. _

_ Sokka _

The letter was short. Almost too short, but Sokka didn't really know what else to say. 

He yawned, rolling the parchment and tying it with a string. He’d send the letter later, but for now he was determined to rest at least a little. He blew out the candle and climbed into bed desperately trying to get his brain to relax. 

Sleep never really came, but he did manage to doze on and off for the few remaining hours of darkness. Just as the sun began peeking over the horizon, there was a sharp tap on his door. 

Katara entered without waiting for a response. Sokka groaned and sat up to see her close the door and stand in the center of the room with her arms folded. 

"What do you want?" Sokka questioned. 

“I was just seeing if you were coming to breakfast at the Jasmine Dragon. Iroh insisted on making us all breakfast as a thank you for celebrating with him last night," Katara replied, voice casual but eyes determined. 

Sokka knew that look. It was the look that said, “Sokka, I cannot allow you to continue to wallow in your own self pity. I will drag your ass out of bed if I have to.” 

He wasn’t really in the mood to be around people, but he couldn’t just abandon his new plan. So he put on the best performance he was capable of. 

“Of course I’ll be at breakfast dear sister. Is that even a question? I practically have a long standing love affair with food,” He replied dramatically.

“Right. Good.” Sokka waited for Katara to leave, but she made no notion of moving.

“Are you going to let me get dressed or-”

“Are you okay?” Katara cut him off, worry lining her face.

Sokka hesitated for a split second before answering in the most convincing tone he could muster, “Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m in Ba Sing Se with my best friends. There’s delicious food, plenty of places to shop, and attractive women to charm. What more could a guy need?”

Katara rolled her eyes, but concern still found residence in her voice. 

“I’m just worried about you. After everything that happened with the council I’m concerned that you’ll shut down and repress everything like you always do.”

_ Damn,  _ he thought,  _ Katara really knows how I work.  _

“I appreciate your concern,” Sokka began, “but I’m fine. Really. Now, let me get dressed. I’m so hungry I could eat a saber-tooth moose.”

“Okay, okay. If you say that you’re fine, then I believe you. But I know how neurotic you can get when things don’t work out the way you hoped and I just wanted to let you know that I’m always here if-”

“I said I’m fine Katara,” he cut her off abruptly, anger bubbling beneath the surface. He looked into her eyes hurt and worry etched into them. 

Sokka took a deep breath before continuing,  “I just need to work through some things, but I’ll be okay. Now let me get ready.” Katara looked as if she was going to say something, but instead she turned and left without another word. The door closing silently behind her. 

\--- 

Zuko, finally free from the lengthy meeting with the Earth King, found Sokka sitting alone on a bench on a path near where the Gaang was staying. 

Zuko was desperate to talk to Sokka after he had noticed Sokka's attempt at acting normal by participating in his usual witty banter at breakfast seemed forced. 

"Hey," Zuko said as he approached the bench.

"Hey," Sokka replied, barely glancing at Zuko.

"Can I sit?" Zuko implored.

Sokka nodded.

"Is everything okay? You've seemed kind of off." Zuko lowered himself on the bench.

"There's a lot going on. A lot to process. I'll be okay,” Sokka said nonchalantly without looking at Zuko. 

"Sokka, I want you to be honest. You know you can tell me anything right?" Zuko scooted closer and let his hand fall beside Sokka’s. Their pinkies barely touched.

Sokka’s pinkie twitched, but he didn’t pull his hand away. Instead he tenderly placed his pinkie on top of Zuko’s as if he was asking a question. That simple gesture was enough to send a blush creeping up Zuko’s neck and his heart stuttered. 

Sokka let out a sigh. “Yeah I know. Thanks.”

They sat there for a moment letting silence fall between them. Sokka’s pinkie traced along Zuko’s idly. 

“Zuko?” Sokka finally broke the silence.

“Yeah?” Zuko turned his gaze to Sokka.

“How did you deal with being banished and virtually being a failure?” 

Zuko pulled his hand away out of shock. Their pinkies parted. He stared wildly at Sokka.

“I’m sorry,” Sokka continued, retreating a little, “but I need to know how you got through it.”

“Well,” Zuko began “I didn’t really deal with it. I shoved all my emotions away and pretended like I was indifferent to everything, but I was so angry. Angry at my father, my sister, uncle, but especially myself. Even after I joined you guys I was still dealing with my anger and hurt. To this day I am. It’s gotten better. Being a part of the restoration of balance and peace. Having such good friends has helped too, but it’s hard being the banished prince, traitorous and unlovable. There are times when I look in the mirror and all I see is my father and it makes me terrified. I try so hard to not be like him. I try my best and hope that someone thinks that’s good enough." Zuko cleared his throat that had become clogged with emotion. "Any particular reason you wanted to know?” 

“Oh… um I don’t know,” Sokka sputtered awkwardly. “Guess I was curious.” There was a beat of silence. “But Zuko, you’re the best Fire Lord the Fire Nation has had for over a century. People respect you and trust you. You’ve shown that you want to make things better. You are not your father and you are good enough. At least good enough for me.” Sokka lifted his eyes to meet Zuko’s. They reminded Zuko so much of the ocean. Not the raging waves during a storm, but the serenity of the crystal beaches of Ember Island in those few glimpses of happiness he had there when he was young. 

Zuko didn’t know what made him do it, maybe the fact that there was actually someone in this world that thought he wasn’t terrible and allowed for a sense of security Zuko longed for, but he leaned towards Sokka. His eyes shifted from Sokka's lips to his eyes. 

Sokka seemed to be leaning in too, but Zuko’s head was spinning with the intoxication of anticipation so he couldn’t be sure. They were so close now that he could feel Sokka’s breath on his lips. They were caught in that moment. Neither one of them moved. Both afraid of what might happen.

Zuko felt Sokka lean closer, their noses nearly brushing now. 

“Oh there you are,” Mai’s voice broke the silence. The boys scooted away from each other as fast as they could, avoiding eye contact. 

“What are you doing?” Mai questioned, looking between the two boys. A slight spark of suspicion danced in her piercing black eyes. 

“Nothing,” Zuko said quickly, blood rushing to his cheeks. He felt guilt knot itself in his gut. But why? It’s not like he did anything wrong. He was just spending time with his good friend who he definitely did not almost kiss and definitely did not want to kiss. 

“Okay,” Mai answered like she didn’t believe him. “Well I was just seeing if you wanted to get lunch.”

“Oh yeah. Just give me a minute.” Zuko gulped as he tried to calm his nerves.

“Fine. Come find me when you two love birds are done with whatever I so rudely interrupted.” Sarcasm dripped from her words though her slight yet mischievous smile implied that she was only teasing. 

Why the fuck did Mai keep implying that there was more than friendship going on between them? ! They were just dudes being dudes. Plus, Zuko was clearly straight. I mean he was dating Mai wasn't he?

Zuko’s head was muddled with confusion and shame as he watched Mai go, waiting for her to be out of sight before turning back to Sokka who was now sitting as far away from him as possible.

Zuko cleared his throat, “So… I guess I shouldn’t keep Mai waiting too long.”

“Yeah, probably not.” Sokka's voice was detached. Maybe even disappointed? A slight crease lined his brow.

“Maybe we can do something before we both have to go back to our lives. You know, just the two of us.” They had been apart for so long that Zuko wanted to at least have an uninterrupted moment to themselves before they had to split ways again.

“I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here.” 

“What do you mean? I thought you were staying to the end of the week before going back South?” Zuko’s voice became worried. 

Sokka shrugged. “I’m not going home Zuko.” 

“What? Why?” Confusion and anxiety etched its way into his voice.

“I just need a break. From the South. From the tribe. From my life. Then maybe things will be okay.” Sokka’s voice was worn and sad. 

“Where will you go?”

“Anywhere but home. Maybe just travel around by myself for awhile.”

Zuko was quiet for a moment. Then an idea sprang into his head.

“You know, you could always come to the Fire Nation. I hear the Firelord has a certain soft spot for a guy with a boomerang and a large appetite.”

“You would let me come stay with you?” Sokka’s eyes lit up. 

“Of course. It’s been too long since you’ve visited anyways.” Zuko smiled and nudged Sokka's shoulder. 

Sokka smiled the first genuine smile Zuko had seen since his arrival. 

“You’ve got a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you made it through this chapter. You may think that maybe things will start looking up for Sokka, but you are wrong. There is still going to be angst, but I promise eventually it will be resolved and Zukka will reign supreme. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'll post more chapters soon! Hope you liked it okay!


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